I know the situation well because my oldest daughter is like that. As a child she exploded because of the slightest situation that overflowed her and now that she is 10 years old, she controls her emotions better, but there are still situations she doesn't know how to manage.
They are often confused with capricious children, but in reality they are extremely sensitive children. Everything affects them too much and as parents we must help them to manage their emotions as well as possible. Does your child explode for everything? We give you ten tips to empathize with him and help him.
Get up to it and look into your eyes
The first thing you have to do is establish eye contact with your child. Get down, get at the same height and look into your eyes.
This simple action shows you that you are open to communication, that you are at the same level to help you. Try to detect what annoys or bothers you and fix it.
Validate your emotions
We often rush to scold or make judgments when what really matters is what the child feels. Empathize with your child, nod with your head and put yourself in his place, let him know that you understand his problem, although we may or may not agree with his vision.
Regardless of whether or not we validate your reaction, we always connect with your needs.
Be predictable
Over time I realized that many times my daughter's frustrations were related to her parents being sometimes unpredictable. We changed the plans every minute generating insecurity.
Talk to your child about what they will do today, tomorrow or the weekend and try to keep it. And if there are changes, explain it in advance. Sometimes surprises can trigger emotional crises.
Provide support
It is not always avoidable that they explode, it is even good that they do so and will continue to do so, what becomes exhausting and negative is that they explode because of any situation that they do not know how to handle.
But since they are children looking for their own path and inevitably there will be situations in which your child will explode, provide an emotional supportive environment. If he is small try to approach and hug him, contain him (although not all children are left, if so, you have to respect him). If he is older and does not want you to be caught, show him that he can always come to you.
Agree with your son
In young children it usually works very well and is closely linked to being predictable. Tell him for example, "We are going to go shopping and then to the park" and finish the sentence with a "OK agreed?" so that it is clear that it is a kind of pact.
"I understand that you really want to go to the park to play. We will do what you like but first we have to go buy dinner, but we will get home and there will be no dinner."
Well-explained explanations often avoid many tantrums, although children are still young there are things that they can understand very well.
Breathe with your son
Breathing is a fantastic mechanism to reassure the child, and it can be done at any time.
When you see that your child has exploded or is about to explode, find a secluded place and help him breathe to calm down. You can resort to what I call 5-2-6. I inspire counted to 5, keep 2 and loose counting to 6. My daughters already have it internalized.
Search for a distraction
A favorite song, count to 10 or any other technique can work to distract you from the focus. That does not mean becoming distracted by what happens to you.
Any distraction formula, as well as breathing, serve to prevent the explosion of anger, the attack of crying or the tantrum, but once the child is reassured it is important that you talk about the conflict and find a solution.
Let him take his time
When the child becomes very upset, it may be good to allow time to calm down before talking about what annoys him.
Empathize with him, validate his emotions, but you talk later at home, quiet. Hours later you can see it from another perspective.
Tickling or kissing attack
Not all children take it well, some even become more enraged, but there are cases in which tickle attacks or kisses work.
It can be a good distraction technique. Of course, you have to know when to apply it.
Put emotions into words
Once you have dodged the "moment of explosion", which can be tantrum, lollipop, anger, crying attack, anxiety crisis, hair loss or whatever form your child uses, the most important thing is to get a name for those emotions that have made him react.
It is applicable to young or older children, always according to their age and with words they can understand. You will start with the simplest feelings such as anger, sadness or happiness (eye that extreme overflows of happiness are also common in children who have trouble controlling emotions) and then you will be adding more complex emotions such as frustration, disappointment, etc.
The objective is empathize with the child, be his support and help him express and manage his emotions better. I hope these tips help you in general to all parents and especially those who have excessively emotional children.
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In Babies and more | Children's tantrums are his way of explaining his problems: don't ignore them
