Many people complain about the addiction of children and adolescents to new technologies. Not surprisingly, according to statistics, in Spain 25 percent of children acquire their first mobile at age 10, becoming one of the star gifts of the First Communion.
But the arrival of the mobile brings in many cases, an abuse of social networks and whatsapp, something that has even led some countries to ban their use in schools, claiming that, among other things, favors social isolation of the students. Therefore, in the era of digital communication, we want to offer you the keys to teach your children to have a good conversation face to face, and not to hide behind the screen of your phone.
The importance of looking into the eyes
We have already talked about the importance of establishing eye contact with your baby since birth, and especially as it grows. According to studies, the exchange of looks synchronizes brain waves and helps communication between people be more fluid.
But if in addition, your child has a problem of verbal dysfluence or fluency, eye contact will bring calm and security, and help him feel confident when communicating with you.
In Babies and more Maintaining eye contact with your baby facilitates communication between both Precisely, if communication through mobile devices is lacking, it is that eye contact we are talking about. How many teenagers will we have seen locked in the screens of their phones, without interacting with the friend they had next door ?!
The example is always the best way to educate our children, leaving our phone aside and connecting face to face with them. Although in this case we can also rely on games (especially if our children are very young), such as looking at us through a mirror, or inventing a sign language that forces your child to look you in the eye to guess what you mean.
Practice active listening
None of us like to be talked to from above, but children, because of the difference in height they have with adults, spend a part of their lives having to look up every time we talk to them. But what if will we go down to their level when talking with them?
The active listening method is very effective in communicating with our children, because it shows them, in a nonverbal way, our availability and interest in what they tell us. Something like telling them, without words: "Speak, I'm here to listen to you".
For adults, it is only a simple gesture, but for the child it is much more than that, since putting ourselves at his height will feel valued, understood, heard and safe. And in the end, that empathy and respect that we are transmitting to him when speaking, will be transmitted by himself when he speaks with other people.
The importance of "magic words"
A conversation that begins with a cordial greeting is a basic rule of education that children should learn from the example, but never forcing them to make physical contact with your interlocutor if you do not want it.
In Babies and more Kisses and hugs: why don't I force my daughter to give them if she doesn't want toIt is also important that learn to express your feelings of gratitude or forgiveness, something that often costs for not finding the right words. But again parents should set an example with our actions, asking forgiveness when we consider that we have failed, or showing our gratitude to certain gestures or actions.
Respect the feelings of the interlocutor
"Did the cat eat your tongue?" I recognize that I am very angry when this expression is used in front of a child who does not want to speak. I do not like to judge, label or disrespect the other person for the fact that at that time he does not want to express himself.
Therefore, as I do not want them to do it with my children, I also try teach them to respect the silences of others. Because our interlocutor may have had a bad day and doesn't want to talk, feel tired or just want to have a little silence. Remember that respect and empathy are the basis of any human relationship.
Spend some time a day talking to your children
In addition to playing with them, it is very beneficial for children's development spend a little time a day talking and listening to each other, even when they are babies and we think they don't understand what we tell them.
As they grow older and conversations become more fluid, we can take advantage of dinner time to talk with them, although for other families the ideal time may be during the bath or before going to bed. The important is create an environment of trust, connection and love to invite bidirectional communication.
Talking about the day we have had or sharing our joys and worries of the day is not only an excellent way to promote communication, but an enriching experience at many other levels.
In Babies and more, how to ensure that your children do not respond to 'How has school gone' with a 'Good' to dryStories, stories, songs, theater ...
Another way to teach our children to communicate, is to do it through the game, especially when they are small and need to gain confidence and verbal fluency when talking.
Singing songs together, performing plays, making a puppet theater, talking on a toy phone or telling stories, are fun ways to teach children to expand their vocabulary, while improve their language skills and social skills.
As the child grows, we can incorporate other techniques such as debate, which will also help him develop his critical thinking, promote his self-esteem and respect the different points of view of his interlocutors.
In summary, new technologies and face-to-face communication do not have to be at odds if we teach our children to combine them correctly, and we make them see at all times the value of social relationships.
Photos | iStock
