In the previous deliveries of our interview with the psychologist Teresa García We have talked a lot about punishments, their dangers and alternatives to improve communication with children. Speaking about punishments we have reached those used in school and homework, so in this third part we are going to talk a little more about Education.
Teresa Garcia supports homeschooling as a perfectly valid option to educate children and believes that it is the parents who must be able to decide freely about whether or not they use the face-to-face school. He will also explain to us that he should improve in the education system and he will end up telling us how to help our children use responsibly computer games, another issue that usually worries parents a lot.
And when two children have a conflict and fight even with blows, what do you recommend?
Of course separate them to prevent them from continuing to hit. Once the blows have stopped, allow each one to explain their version of the facts, and make active listening with each one in the presence of the other. When those involved have said everything they had to say, propose that they find a non-violent exit to the situation. And let them find that way out. If this is trained enough in children and primary school, you will rarely find such situations in high school, and by logic in life in general.
What do you think of home schooling?
It is an educational alternative and allows children to understand our culture and acquire the basic skills to function in society perfectly.
Are there studies that show that home-educated children have normal development?
Yes, there are several statistical studies that clearly show it. Moreover, there are many "important" people in our culture who were educated at home. To cite a close example, surely all parents know the "Eragon" saga. Well, its author, to name one of many, has never stepped on a school as a student.
Are you in favor then of the recognition of this educational option?
I consider that in our country, it is recognized. The State clearly provides it in certain circumstances. I also think that if education understood that this alternative would benefit certain children who, due to their special circumstances, are having school failure, it would expand the cases in which CIDEAD is used.
Given that it is an option that generates less expense than the face-to-face school to the State, perhaps it would be a good strategy to allow any child whose parents deem it to be able to use the public school at a distance.
Another thing is that in Spain there is no specific regulation in this area. Given this circumstance, cases in which CIDEAD even denies enrollment to hospitalized children in some communities. And in other communities, simply by saying that you travel a lot for work, they give you tuition.
I believe that the state and private training offer would be greatly expanded by having specific legislation on this issue. Given that there would be private Spanish distance schools, the training offer would be expanded, and they could even offer their services to other countries, just as the United States or England does now.
How do you think it could lead to these children receiving an adequate education and being well cared for?
This question is based on distrust in parents and blind trust in schools. If the question were "How to encourage children to receive an adequate education and be well served?", The answer would be very different. This question presupposes that fathers and mothers who use this option will "harm" their children.
What would you answer if the question was how you said it?
That it is important to train all children in emotional attention. And for this, train adults who have deficiencies in that field, occupy the position they occupy in society. This would eradicate poor attention to children in all areas.
Does homeschooling in Spain have a component of exclusion for extreme political or religious ideas?
Another question that presupposes that parents who educate at home intend to generate fans. There are cabbages of tremendously religious ideologies. And they are quite widespread in our geography. They certainly have a very religious dye, therefore, I do not think that what worries is the ideology, but who educates at home does something that most do not know. After clarifying this, tell you that the few studies that have a Spanish population show a greater preference for this option for pedagogical reasons.
Does homeschooling have advantages then?
Any educational option you choose has advantages and disadvantages. Each family values that it is a priority and based on that takes one option or another.
Is homeschooling valid only for some “special” children such as gifted children, children with dyslexia or those with school failure?
It is valid for any child: all children are special. Ignorance of statistics, provokes this question. If most people measure 1.70, does that mean who measures 1.30 or 1.90 are sick, or are "special"? Well no, of course not. It just says that they are not like most. The fact that the majority go to school and adapt to that system does not imply that only “specials” can use this alternative of homeschooling.
Let's go back to the school education system. In your opinion, does the school have advantages and disadvantages?
Of course. Fathers and mothers who choose face-to-face school believe that it has more advantages than home schooling. Those who choose education at home, obviously believe that it has more advantages.
What fails in the school education system?
Rather than say in what fails, I prefer to say what I would do to improve it. I would train each and every teacher in compassionate speech and emotional intelligence.
Teresa, you have mentioned this concept several times, in which you are a specialist. Can you explain in more detail what is compassionate speech?
The perception of everything we have around is guided by speech. For example, Eskimos have many different words for the color white (depending on the depth of the snow, etc.) while we, if we went to their land, at least the first few days would perceive only "white." So any goal we have in life, will be mediated by the words we use. That is why I dedicate myself to train people in the use of words that support their objectives.
There is one more thing about which I would like to know your opinion, as it generates many doubts in the parents and tensions with the children. Do you think computer games or video games are dangerous?
I think those computer games are dangerous for anyone who doesn't use them in an appropriate way. Children because they are in the training stage are more vulnerable, so to speak.
That is why it is important that when a child uses this type of games, an adult is with him and knows what to do in each situation. What words to use, transmitting the risks to the child. The same is done when we explain that of looking at both sides of the street when crossing. Crossing without looking is dangerous for all people, although the weakest are more vulnerable.
Do you recommend an age from which to start using them?
More than an age, it is a certain maturity. Logically if a game says that it is not recommended in "such age" in its instructions, I usually respect it. But then there are children who are already older than the "recommended" in the instructions, and that game in particular can be very strong for him. Like crossing the street, there are children who acquire it with four years, others with six and others with eight. Each according to their maturity.
Should we impose a time limitation?
Imposing is a word that shows that someone has the "power" over another. More than imposing, I consider it appropriate to report the time limit according to the instructions and to have alternative games. Or participate the adult of the game, if it is a Nintendo video game, so that while the adult plays, the child rests.
What if the child is "hooked" and does not want to do otherwise?
For a person to get hooked on something (computer game or something else) conditions are met. So if I observe that a child just wants to be with his video game, what I do is investigate the family dynamics to foster a more harmonious relationship at home. If I improve that, the child will always prefer to play with his parents to play with a little machine.
As always when I do an interview, my feeling is proud to be able to transmit the information of the experts to our readers and I want to keep talking. In this interview with the psychologist Teresa García It has happened to me again and I hope, of course, that it leaves you with the same feeling, that of wanting to improve as parents and keep learning.
