I know that what I am going to say is obvious, but I think it is necessary to say it because it can help many future parents: your son, the one who waits for the weeks of gestation that he has left to be born to pass, he will love you more than anything and more than anyone else in the world.
Then surely you answer a "well, I imagine it will be like this", to which I, raising an eyebrow, replied that, although you imagine, you should not take it for granted, but always remember, from day one, and now I will tell you why.
Why they love us
Men and women are social beings by nature. Since we were born, we look for other equals with whom to share our lives in various interdependent relationships. When we are young, of course, these relationships are more unequal, because the dependence of children on their elders is immense. Precisely because they need us so much, they have to love us, they have to love us from the minute zero.
That love helps them to survive (because we take care of them and make it possible) and it helps them so that we love them too. If this were not the case, we would not take care of them and the species would probably become extinct, because a baby's ability to survive is nil.
The purest love that exists
But neither is it necessary for a future dad to know the reason for the love that his baby will feel for him, because the important thing is to know, simply, that he and mom are going to be the center of their son's universe. Children love without asking for anything in return. They don't put conditions, they don't play to threaten or blackmail, they don't ask questions or demand anything from us.
They love us, they love us, and every day they try to prove it to us because they feel it. As a child they do it by offering us their smiles, wanting to be with us, wanting to share their games and wanting to learn from us, for example. Then later they show us with huge hugs, asking us to take them, resting their heads on our shoulders, making drawings or feeding us in the same way we do with them.
They are willing to please us, they are looking forward to our love, they are willing to share their lives with us and they do it without any hidden interest. It is the purest love that exists, that of children.
Our responsibility, correspond to them
It is so much that they want us that so much love needs to be reciprocated by the love of their parents. I have no doubt that any father and mother will love their children, but when the baby is not yet born, the fear to have our son exercise some kind of control over us, the fear that he will try to manipulate us, the fear that we will not know how to limit his freedom and ultimately the fear of having a son who does not love us and that exceeds us can lead us to start off with a bad foot, start creating a relationship with our baby based on control and excessive reasoning instead of let it flow according to the dictates of our heart.
Pedro Guerra reproached him in a song to someone who "You imprisoned the love that flies in fear of what is going", which is one of the mistakes that many people make with our children and with people who want to love us. It is so much the fear that they don't love us or that they want us badly, that we condition our love ourselves. If we control it, if we do not love them in the same way, if we do not let it flow, fly, if we do not try to understand them, if we are not empathic, if we believe that when they cry they manipulate us, instead of thinking that they simply suffer and need us, If we believe that we have to be all day trying not to have everything, because life is hard and you cannot have everything in life, if we are not clear that all you need is not things, but love, we will run the risk precisely of have the children we wanted to avoid having.
"Love is in the air", "all you need is love"... love them equally, without compromises, without questions. Try to take a few of those heart that cover your hearts, those that you have been putting on over the years to prevent people around you from harming you, and enjoy the most innocent and pure love that exists. Today I can't think of better advice for a father who expects a baby. It is one of those tips that one would have liked to receive.
